MISS
by Mitzumi Kare
Summary: Yami is down to a very short of options for work so that leaves one solution: Work at a crossdressing cafe! A slice of life look at the YGO cast as they live there lives. Rated for implied smut, language and random. Set in the same fict-verse as Baby.


_**M.I.S.S.**_

* * *

**April 2005**

* * *

"You can't fire me because I QUIT!" Yami slammed the door behind him, his face drawn into a rather impressive scowl. He knew there wasn't a ton of jobs out there for a former spirit with sketchy background information but today was the last damn straw. He put up with sexual harassment from coworkers, patron and recently, his own boss who threatened to fire him if he didn't sleep with him. That was _not_ in his job description as a bartender so he walked. Okay, more like stormed but details, details.

'Just my luck that Kaiba isn't single anymore.' He thought as he headed down the rainy streets of Domino. He enjoyed his time as Kaiba's 'kept' lover but recently Kaiba had gotten another after dumping Yami. Someone tall, blonde and muscular. Yami smiled a little at the speculations that ran through the tabloids. Kaiba may be his greatest rival but the bastard deserved happiness too.

Yami ducked into the covered bus stop, shaking his head not unlike that of a wet dog. He had enough to cover food and rent for the next 2 months if he scrimped a bit but if he didn't find another job, he might wind up moving back in with Yugi.

He didn't consider it a bad idea-he had fun with Yugi and Tea and it made him happy that they had _finally_ gotten married. But they were expecting their first child and space will be tight. Besides that, he was a man- a gay man and dammit he wanted to get laid too. As much fun as it was faking sex noises to freak Yugi out, it didn't compare to the real thing.

Nope, he had to keep his own apartment…somehow.

"Uhm…excuse me…"

Yami looked behind him then up at the tall person near him who was decked out in a long black skirt and dark green blouse, that was one pretty…dude. Yeah, Yami's gender radar was never off and he could tell, that was a guy-pretty- but male nonetheless. They wore their long orangey-red hair tucked into a low pony tail and had a hunter green umbrella tucked under their arm, a contrite look on their pale face.

"Can I help you?" Yami drawled. He wasn't the nicest person but he could help a ladyboy in need….especially one this cute. Idly, he wondered how many duels he would have to win to see Kaiba in the same outfit.

"You're really pretty." The redhead flushed and Yami's thoughts turned to banging him instead.

"Thanks."

"And, uhm, I was wondering if you would like to work for me. I recently started a café and I'm looking for waiters and my husband mentioned seeing you work at the Dungeon bar and—"

Yami seriously looked at the man and blinked, light bulb coming on. "You wouldn't to happen to be Nanomi, Rakuna's husband?"

"Ah, yes!" Nanomi chirped, perking at the recognition.

"But you're a doctor, what the hell—"

"Shhh, Mitzumi needed someone to open a café for the plot and I used to crossdress so…" Nanomi trailed off, hoping the readers would check out his story at another time.

"Wait, what does crossdressing have to do with the plot?!" Yami asked, pulling a script from nowhere and flipping through it.

"You weren't at the staff meeting? The main plot of the story is that you work at a crossdressing café!"

"WHAT?!"

* * *

"So you're going to wear a miniskirt."

"Yup"

"A very short miniskirt."

"Exactly what it says on the tin. Men in Short Skirts."

"Oh wow, title drop."

"Jealous?"

"Not of you, you poor bastard." Kaiba snorted, downing the last of his bourbon.

Yami sighed. "Why this? Just why me?"

"Because you have worn a skirt before." Kaiba pointed out helpfully as Yami made him another drink. There was benefits of having an ex-boyfriend that was a bartender.

"Excuse you, the fandom calls that a _shenti_ and it's perfectly acceptable for a man with a butt as fabulous as mine, thank you very much." Atem slid the glass of bourbon over to Kaiba who picked it up and took a sip. He wished Kaiba would just hire him to be his personal bartender. The man had a great taste in booze even though he only drunk everything straight.

"You are such a fag." Kaiba chuckled.

"King of fags is my secondary title. But seriously Kaiba, why should I take this job?"

"You quit your other job, you only have spotty knowledge that is woefully outdated, and I'm not hiring you as my personal bartender." Kaiba summed it up before taking another sip. Yami just scowled at him.

"Stop reading my thoughts on the script, butt munch. And why won't you hire me? I have, according to Mitzumi, extensive bar knowledge and you have a well, extensive bar," Yami gestured at the beautiful hardwood bar that went from one end of the huge room to another, fully stocked with the best alcohol, mixers and beer that money could buy. This authoress is downright jealous, yes she is.

"Last I checked, you rather enjoyed my butt munching skills and it just doesn't seem right to bring you in right after I hooked up with Jack." Kaiba admitted, setting his drink down. "He may annoy me a bit but he's a damn good guy when he isn't being obnoxious and he's really fucking good in bed."

"Basically he's you but blonde and with muscle mass. Just when I thought you couldn't get any more narcissistic…" Yami deadpanned, habitually wiping down the counter. He may have been a bartender at a very shitty bar but old good habits die hard.

"I take that all as a compliment. Jealous?"

"You wish. Back to the matter at hand…"

"Take the damn job, Yami. It'll move the plot along and really, you look good in a skirt." Kaiba sighed, picking up his drink once more.

"You're only saying that because you want to molest me."

"I don't need to see you in a skirt to want to molest you."

"Oh Kaiba, you know how to make a man feel special."

* * *

"And here I was hoping you were going to refuse." Yugi sighed. Yami only smirked as he dipped into the paint once more. As a present to the soon-to-be parents, Yami, Joey, Mai, Serenity, and Ryou were painting Yugi's old bedroom for the new baby. Tristan and Duke had to tap out because of work reasons and Kaiba said he was busy, though it wasn't if he was never busy. Since neither of the parents knew of the baby's gender, they had decided on a nice pale green.

"That look on his face says going to agree from the jump." Tea laughed, comfortably perched in the chair Yugi had dragged into the room and insisted she sit on. She had waved him off with a laugh but did as asked.

"It's sounds just your brand of crazy. Oh I remember the stories Kaiba told me about you and your itty bitty skirt." Joey groaned. "It was like you two are on a mission to ruin miniskirts for me forever."

"So I should stop wearing them?' Mai asked innocently.

"Over my dead body." Joey growled at her, drawing a laugh from the older woman.

"As if you would give up the cougar's most powerful weapon." Yami laughed.

"You need to be quiet Mr. Cradle Robber." Mai snorted, flicking paint at Yami who used Yugi as a human shield. All hell broke out then with the girls immediately banding together to take the guys out while hiding around corners of Yugi's room. It was an even game since the only furniture in the room was Tea's chair. It was over quickly and everything…except the walls was covered in paint.

"I feel like a pea." Yami gasped as they collapsed to the floor.

"We look like an exorcism gone wrong. Who decided on this color?" Tea groaned, pushing her hair from her face. Yugi grinned and pressed a hand to her stomach that was just out of the little bump stage.

"Something about choosing a gender neutral color so the baby would not have to adhere to society's hetero-normative cissexual norms."

"Tea chose it." They all chorused, making the brunette blush.

"Fuck you all, green is a pretty color." She grumbled as Yugi helped her up so they can get the paint off.

* * *

"Alright everyone, let me give you all the basics. This is M.I.S.S. Café and Bar. MISS stands for Men in Short Skirts. All the waiters and performers will wear either a skirt or dress. The only exceptions are maintenance staff, backstage workers, and select performers. Look around you and notice that the people next and near you are men or some variation thereof. Treat each other kindly and failing that, with respect." Nanomi told his small pool of recruits before moving behind the bar.

Yami had to admit that the place was set up nicely, half the room was very café like with small tables that were set with small decorations and bigger family tables near the wall. Then on the other side was the bar, which was all chrome and frosted glass, and a couple of huge seating booths that were opposite the bar. Running between the Bar side and the Café side was a large stage which attached to a door that lead to the backstage and dressing rooms. Light streamed in from the café side which hosted plenty of large windows while the bar side had a semi-hidden entrance on the backside of the building for those who wanted to be more or less discreet in their indulgence in a bar.

"Everyone will be assigned shifts and during your shift you are expected to serve customers and unless otherwise stated, perform in some way be it singing, dancing or small skits. During the day, everyone works in the café but after sunset, anyone under 18 are shooed out and we work the Bar side. Basically, it's a café by day and a host club/bar by night. Any questions?"

A tall blond raised his hand. "You say host club but are, er, private transactions and relationships allowed?"

Nanomi frowned. "Well it's not encouraged but since everyone who is staffed are adults, it's allowed. But please don't let it interfere with your work and don't say that I encouraged you to. You are responsible for any issues you may encounter in that respect."

"What about sexual harassment?" Yami called out.

"A little flirting goes a long way but if you are being harassed by customer or co-worker, feel free to grab me or a member of the security team. That's what they are here for. It's zero tolerance by the way. Customers will be banned for sexual harassment and workers will be fired. There is an exception of it's all an act, naturally, but let me know beforehand if you are going to do that kind of play," Nanomi explained before answering more questions.

'This place isn't too bad. I might actually like it here.' Yami thought to himself, his eyes scanning the room. They widened upon coming upon someone he didn't expect to see here of all places.

'Yusei?!'

* * *

"Well it does take money to start things, you know." Yusei laughed after he was asked as to why he was working at MISS Café. Yami stared at him a little incredulously and ignored the waitress trying to get his attention.

"So you're still saving up to open your own garage," Yami sighed, sitting back before giving the waitress his order.

"Yeah. It's slow going but alright. I have at least half the money at the moment so I won't be working long since the pay is pretty good." Yusei said, taking a sip of water. He was driving so he wasn't about to get drunk. Not that it mattered since he usually avoided drinks as he was such a lightweight. Hopefully Yami will NEVER learn about that…

"I understand that but why this café? Do you look that good in a skirt…not that I wouldn't want to see that either way." Yami remarked, drawing a rather interesting flush to Yusei's face.

"I'm on the security team. I don't look good in feminine clothes."

"You don't know if you never try~." Yami teased, loving the way Yusei's face lit up. He was so expressive sometimes.

"Well what about you? I didn't expect to see you working at a place like that." Yusei countered.

"Dahling, I look damn good in whatever I wear." Yami drawled, putting on an old Hollywood accent before going back to normal. "I just quit my previous job and Nanomi offered me a job at the café. His husband used to frequent the bar I worked at."

"So you're going to be bartending? Why do you need to be wearing a skirt if you are going to be only shown from the waist up?" Yusei asked, his head slightly quirking to the side. Yami aggressively resisted the urge to pet him. Gods, this man was too cute for his own good.

"I'm doing a little of everything that is front of house- one day I may be bartending but the next I am serving or performing. I have to look good for all of that, you know." Yami explained, finally taking a sip of water. Where the hell was that waitress?

Yusei smiled gently before saying, "I think you look good no matter what you do, Yami."

* * *

At the corner of 8th and Main is a Café. You open the door and before you is a waitress, wait no, a waiter greets you. He is dressed in a blue Chinese mini dress, white stockings and little black flat slippers on his feet. His hair is drawn into two little buns on either side of his head. He smiles and says,

"Welcome to MISS Café!"

* * *

A/N: Well it has begun. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO SPANGLE FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY BULLSHIT. /SHOWERS WITH LOVE, PLUSHIES, TEA AND CAKE

Also to find out more about Nanomi, check him out in Insanity Chronicles which is linked on my profile page.

Now regarding words, I DO NOT censor what I say and I give not one iota of fuck if it's politically correct or not. So if you are the sensitive type and can't tell the difference between contexts, then you shouldn't read what I write, much less be on the internet period. This is your first and only warning and frankly if I get shit over it, I will just ignore you.

/cough ANYWAY, there is a special version of this on Blogger that includes mini-sketches of certain scenes so I really hope you check that out.

Review and I will see you next chapter!


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